The Daily Forest Report July 23, 2013 Dealing with the Merciless Raspberry Police

by nielskunze on July 23, 2013

I couldn’t possibly eat– or even gather for later– all of the food currently available on my daily forest walks… for two reasons. First, there is simply way too much out there in terms of gooseberries, raspberries, strawberries, saskatoon berries, clover, alfalfa, daisies, roses, onions, grasses, and more. I could spend my days entirely picking and packing these many items from the forest supermarket without even making a sizeable dent in the endless supply. Yeah, there really is that much– especially now that the wild raspberries are coming ripe.

Since I began these Daily Forest Reports about a month ago, I have been taking all of my breakfasts and lunches from the offerings gathered along these trails. Granted, I have never been much of a breakfast eater to begin with, but now, everyday, I don’t get around to consuming any store-bought food until after 6pm. I only eat one “proper” meal per day in the evenings because the forest keeps me well satisfied until then.

The other reason I’m unable to gather all of the forage is the damned “Raspberry Police.” An unfortunate aspect of forest reality in the middle of summer is that the mosquitos insist on making their presence felt in a rather merciless fashion. Stop for but a moment and the whole forest is filled with the whine of their annoying sirens. “Stop! Raspberry Picker, we have you surrounded!” Indeed you do… and I suppose I should be grateful because of my propensity for overindulgence. If it wasn’t for the ever-vigilant Raspberry Police, I could easily grow fat and immobile like Jabba the Hut in these raspberry patches.

I don’t use chemical repellants. Nor do I mix natural concoctions to douse myself with in hopes of disrupting the little bastards’ appetites and the means to fulfil them. When in the forest, I prefer to remain unscented. After all, I am there precisely to interact in a meaningful way with the forest critters, not keep them at bay. Lo, these past twenty years, I have developed a technique that makes these mid-summer walks pleasurable despite the Archontic intrusion. Please see the brief video below:

The Only Mosquito Repellant That Works from Niels Kunze on Vimeo.

The figure-8 pattern of my waving shirt cuts through the clouds of mosquitos and disrupts the air currents around my upper body enough to make it nearly impossible for them to land. It also works just as well for horseflies and deer flies… and other unnamed nasty-bitey things. It’s best if the shirt is an earthy colour; I once used a bright red one which had the unfortunate result of attracting bumblebees and butterflies– whom I do not relish batting from the air. Sorry guys!

It is also useful to note that this technique is not proven effective against pterodactyls and US military drones. Those may require more “industrial” methods.

One comment

Thank you, again. Good to read and watch the mosquito repellent technique!

by aleida on July 23, 2013 at 6:05 pm. Reply #

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