The Free Radical

There seems to be a consensus, of which I am a part, that suggests that we are in a brief “testing” phase. Our fears and insecurities are being triggered in order that we may observe ourselves when our “buttons” have been pushed. Are we reacting with the same old programmed behaviours? Or have we truly settled into a deeper equanimity?

Our individual situations may appear to be unfathomably complex when viewed from the habitual perspective of fear, but when we pause to check in with that so-called fear we find instead that the light of the sky shines above, creating a more sublime beauty for those standing rooted to the Earth.

The incident I wish to report on today was very personal, but I believe that it has a much broader application tending toward the universal. Hence, I’m willing to share it.

It occurred during Thursday’s walk, and involved once again the hunting dogs. This is the third time I’ve reported on the situation of a cougar hunting party in our vicinity, and it is in fact the fourth such occasion.

This time we were at least halfway through our daily outing before we heard the first of the baying hounds in the distance. At first they weren’t particularly close, but they were definitely situated between us and home. That was a bit disconcerting. There was nothing we could do but push on and hope that our paths didn’t actually cross.

As we set out to complete our circuit, Sitka and I listened closely to the intermittent barks and yowls roaming the hills and fields before us. There was a small herd of deer nervously monitoring the situation as well. From their tracks in the very fresh snow it was clear that they too had been milling about in confusion and apprehension.

Finally as we approached the gate which marks the beginning of the final descent toward home, we could only hear one of the dogs in fairly close proximity. As we passed through the gate it became clear that that particular hound was coming directly at us. Sitka was very concerned; she wished to run, to get the hell out of there! I concurred. We began running down the hill, all the while hearing the hunting dog rapidly approaching…

The situation itself seemed like something out of a Stephen King movie… but as I ran trying to keep up with Sitka, my mind was not crafting scenarios of an impending encounter. And as I checked in with my heart and my gut– still running– there was honestly no fear. My intuition was clearly telling me that nothing “bad” was approaching– despite the obvious situation.

The baying hound quickly overtook us; it was just on the other side of a small ridge to our right. Suddenly it was ahead of us and it seemed most prudent for Sitka and I to stop. What suddenly became obvious was that it wasn’t actually chasing us. Had it been chasing us, it hardly could have missed us running straight down the road.

The bottom line is that overall it was a very beneficial incident. A very fearful situation to my mind’s reckoning had been presented, but when I “paused” (even while running) to really take stock of the situation, it was clear there was not even a trace of true visceral fear. My body and its innate knowing were perfectly calm… and yet quite willing to run like a madman through the deep snow.

So the final message is very brief: Don’t let your mind run away with you; check your heart; check your gut… and really feel if there’s honestly anything to be afraid of.

There wasn’t; there isn’t.