The Free Radical

I wake up every day… and ask myself, what would I like to say to the world today…?

Collectively, we live in an unbalanced world.

At this point in our ‘development’, the majority of Earth’s humanity live in unhealthy, detrimental environments, due to pollution and toxicity from myriad sources. Food, water, and air have been fundamentally compromised; additionally, the prevalence of technological electro-smog and pervasive violence, have constituted an unending assault upon the human’s physical, psychological and spiritual wellbeing. The degree to which we individually allow the immediate environment to affect us– whether consciously or unconsciously– determines our survivability as potential agents for change.

In a more balanced world, where the human environment mirrors and supports the innate creativity of the unique human genius, we would naturally be engaged in an equal exchange between our inner world of personal experience and the outer consensus of our shared existence. Such a balanced exchange between the inner and the outer worlds is biologically represented by the act of breathing.

It is difficult and frightful to breathe deeply in a poisoned landscape… but we are not without recourse…

The outer reality is a reflection of the inner… both collectively and individually. In order to bring the two worlds of our metaphysical reality back into balance, we must learn to primarily live from internal creation. Only once we have returned our outer environment to a state of pristine and robust health can we hope to enter into the natural and free exchange between the two worlds without risking further harm to ourselves and our progeny. By living our lives primarily from internal creation, with the conviction of loving intent, we effectively reverse the flow of unending destruction, healing ourselves and the world in the process.

The purpose of this essay is to examine what specifically is meant by ‘living from internal creation.’

Each of us is the centre of our own universe; that is the proper place from which to function effectively in this aggregate existence. Each of us is god, whose domain– or jurisdiction– is our own inner reality. We are the supreme rulers of ourselves… and nowhere else. We recognize that the only perfect control possible is self-control. Obviously, this is something which cannot be given or bestowed from the outside; it can only be claimed internally, individually.

Perhaps the most important area of our lives in which to claim and assert our sovereignty is in matters of personal health. Recognize that nobody– no matter their level of supposed expertise– can know you better than you. Your health– or lack thereof– is ultimately your responsibility… and should be your highest priority.

Doctors, drugs, surgeries, books, internet research, neighbourly advice… these are all tools and resources for your own personal consultation as you see fit, but the final decision in matters of health always belongs to you. To live from internal creation allows us to consult external sources, but we design and choose a course of action according to our own understanding. It is in the recognition of our individuality and the uniqueness of our personal health challenges where we find the perfect resolution and healing for whatever attempts to knock us off centre.

Internal creation loves to experiment. It has nothing to do with blindly following the protocols of others. Procedures and regimens are creatively tinkered with and adapted to our unique circumstances. In the process, intuition and internal awareness are cultivated and developed. The road to true health and wholeness is a refinement of our internal state– physically, emotionally, spiritually… and this inevitably leads to growth.

Closely related to health, and next on the priority list for internal creation, is nutrition and our food choices. We all have unique nutritional requirements and sensitivities. There is no one-size-fits-all diet that works for everyone. My preferred foods may very well be poison to you.

Every food choice we make is an energetic statement of intent. When someone reaches for a box of Pop-Tarts on the grocery shelf, they are sending the clear message: “Please universe, keep the poisonous matrix world intact so that I may still receive my preferred foods.” By consistently choosing manufactured, over-processed foods, we are demanding that the entire machinery of the industrial world required to produce and deliver those foods be maintained into the future so that the choice remains available. That is the energetic intent expressed in such a free will choice.

Conversely, when we consistently choose natural foods in their natural state, we are similarly declaring that we energetically support the ‘machinery’ of Nature to continue providing our preferred choices. The strongest reinforcements for such an intent are found in growing our own food in a personal garden, or from foraging wild foods from the pristine places where they still naturally grow. In the grocery store, the choice of organic over conventionally grown produce serves a similar intent to a lesser degree.

Finding our unique nutritional requirements for optimal functioning, again, invites experimentation. Experimentation is a creative act. In fact, science– in its proper form, as a process or method of inquiry– is supremely creative. Both in the formulation of a viable hypothesis and in the design of a suitable experiment to test it, science expresses the progress of learning.

Learning itself is a creational act. It may seem, at first blush, that learning simply allows the external world to imprint and influence the inner reality with established programming. This is not learning or education; this is indoctrination or schooling. True learning requires that information is filtered and processed internally from our own unique perspective in order to measure its suitability for becoming our own personal knowledge through experience. (Perhaps that sentence should be read again.)

True learning never ceases… and never ceases to amaze… because it follows our innate, natural curiosity. Schooling and indoctrination follow a curriculum established solely by outside forces which do not take individual curiosity and aptitude into consideration. We should not judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree!

Learning is a crucial internal stance, a predisposition to believing without ever settling into rigid beliefs or belief systems. It is in the ever-changing nature of believing– of developing a fluidity of perception– where creativity acts on our internal selves. Learning cultivates and terraforms our inner nature on a continual basis– that is its creative nature.

“Niels, what do you know for sure?”

The only thing I know for sure is that I have no expectation of ultimately ever arriving ANYWHERE. I love the journey without a single thought for the destination. I am energy in process…

When I write about living from internal creation, I am not insisting that we all become consummate artists in the commercial sense. There is art and creativity in good conversation, in quiet contemplation, in structuring and embellishing this place we call home. The potential for creativity resides in everything we do. Sometimes we just have to ask ourselves if we’re being authentic, true to ourselves. Am I designing and maintaining my yard according to my own unique inner expression, or am I conforming to the demands of my neighbours to be a ‘good’ homeowner?

“But what about bad habits which are hard to shake… like smoking, or drinking liquor, or doing illicit drugs? Can these ever be considered as internally creative?”

Shit man, I’m a fun drunk! People have always loved to get drunk with me because it’s almost always a good time. I love good scotch (mostly the Islay malts), but I never drink to escape. When we drink to escape the pain of our external circumstances, that is a sure sign that we’re not living from internal creation; we’ve located our identity outside of ourselves and invested it into externals like status, prestige, net worth, etc. It’s the same with smoking– whether cigarettes or marijuana. Is this activity coming from a place of need (addiction or escape)? I’ve known several cigarette smokers who have exactly two cigarettes a day– one in the morning with coffee and one in the evening after supper. Why? Because, they tell me, they love it. I can’t see a problem with that.

As most who read my stuff already know, I often smoke pot (exclusively pot that I’ve grown myself, organically). Over the years I have found that certain activities– usually overtly creative activities– are simply better or more enjoyable when I’m high. I love to play guitar stoned. The books that I’ve written and published could not have existed in their current form without the aid of marijuana. (I still would’ve written books without it– I have– but not THESE books, as they are… and I love them.) The majority of my writing is produced while I’m high; I invite you to be the judge whether they come from a place of authentic internal creation… or whether they’re the dictates of external considerations or of entities with nefarious agendas.

In the land of internal creation there are no rules, no set procedures, no place for black-and-white rationalization (rationalize: to cut into rations, impose limits); there’s no ultimate belief system, no hard and fast conclusions, and no projections. It’s fluid and dynamic, an expression which invites the external reality into a new adjustment where judgments are seen to be empty and counterproductive.

By living from internal creation and expressing our newly-discovered selves every day outwardly, we effectively reverse the destructive flow of unhealthy external agendas, and reclaim our rightful places on the thrones of our own mastery and self-control. THAT is how we take responsibility for this creation in its entirety.

Do what you most truly love; there is no higher purpose you can serve than your own.