The Free Radical

In a world that still needs superheroes…

(Hungree Mungree by The Niche from their 2002 album Building Up)

Munkie Dunky was kinda like a reverse double-agent… sorta. In actual fact, she was a monkey in a dog suit, living out the superhero fantasy in a world gone mad. Even her mundane identity was a bit of a ruse– pretending to be the mild-mannered Sitka, when the whole dog thing was just a cover for her curious monkey nature.

“What is it, Munkie Dunky?” asked the man without a yellow hat… one day.

“It could be nothing,” answered Munkie Dunky. “But in a world up to its eyeballs in bull, it’s best to always watch where you step!” Oh, how prophetic those words would prove to be… eventually. “Assemble the crew!”

“Sure thing,” answered the man bereft of any headgear whatsoever.

Most superheroes have at most a single sidekick, but Munkie Dunky was more of a super-duper-hero… in that she had two.

First, there was Toblerone… who was not Swiss, nor made of chocolate… whose specialty was impulsiveness. And in situations of excessive moisture, she doubled as Aquaspaz.

And then there was the more cerebral, contemplative one, Lass. Yup, that’s right, just Lass. What she may have lacked in extra syllables she more than made up for in her uncanny powers of concentration.

In fact, Lass had just recently graduated with her OCD from Frisbee U. (If you knew Lass, you’d think that was frickin’ hilarious!)

“Watch out, the world is still full of bull,” explained Munkie Dunky once the action-figure crew had fulfilled the initial obligation of ‘some assembly required.’

“But in Russia, bull watches you!” Toblerone and Lass didn’t get it… and didn’t mind a bit. Munkie Dunky’s sense of humour was definitely the least developed of her senses. They were just happy being on the lookout for… well… pretty much anything that moved.

Despite their obvious ferocity, the intrepid crew was rather quite compassionate. And when they chanced upon a “nest” on the ground (it was more of a rolled up newspaper in the shape of a nest, if that)– they all stood guard over the helpless innocents until the man who was thinking of buying a hat– perhaps yellow– fully evaluated and documented the situation.

The chicks were mostly invisible… but not to the keen senses of a monkey in a dog suit! Their mother flitted and flopped nearby, desperately trying to be a distraction in a world made from distractions… trying to lure our superheroes into… god-knows-what! All that can be determined beyond any shadow of a doubt about the mother was…

…was that this wasn’t her. (The mother refused to hold still for the camera, but this grouse nearby was happy to hold still; it’s really what Grouse does best.)

Munkie Dunky nuzzled one of the chicks gently with her nose… but the chick just pretended to be a rock… or an arrangement of sticks… or perhaps a lump of earth and bark.

Such survival strategies were confusing for a monkey in a dog suit to comprehend– not to mention for the sensibilities of the man making plans to visit the haberdashery. Quietly, they all moved along… carefully watching where they stepped!

…ever vigilant for the slightest provocation to jump into action again!