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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nI first met Gord and Jay on June 21st, 1972. It was a Wednesday. It was the first week of summer holidays. I was sixteen. I was at work, at the record shop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My boss had left the shop in my young but capable hands for the afternoon. The record on the turntable was King Crimson\u2019s \u201969 debut \u2018In the Court of the Crimson King.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I could\u2019ve sworn I was alone in the shop. It was slow, even for a Wednesday, and I had a perfect view of the front door from the counter at which I stood. Nobody had come through those doors for at least twenty minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The song was \u2018Moonchild,\u2019 towards the end, during the noodley bits. My teenage self was unable to understand why Mr. Fripp had insisted on including those aimless unstructured noise sessions on each of the first Crim albums, sometimes lasting more than ten minutes each. It seemed to me that vinyl real estate was at a premium, and any self-respecting artist would want to cram in as much awesomeness as was humanly possible on each and every record\u2026 and here was Fripp and the boys serving up a steaming pile of noodles, with not even a morsel of meat to savour. I didn\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, that was my train of thought when Gord and Jay suddenly \u201cappeared\u201d in the shop. I swear they never came through the front door. They were just suddenly there, peering at me over the Black Sabbath \u2018Master of Reality\u2019 display left over from last summer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My next train of thought was that these two were really Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, freshly beamed into my reality, here to save the world or some such thing. (Oh the irony of that thought, I would later realize!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nope. No pointy ears. Neither of these two oddballs was Vulcan. They appeared human\u2026 mostly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCan I help you gentlemen find something today?\u201d I asked nonchalantly, trying to cover up my deepest paranoid suspicions, as I emerged from behind the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My very straightforward query seemed to catch both of them a little off guard. \u201cUm\u2026 yes\u2026 well\u2026\u201d stammered the one who seemed to be in charge\u2014 the leader, so to speak. \u201cWhat is it exactly that you sell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Okay, that threw me for a bit of a loop, coming from someone standing in the middle of a record shop utterly stuffed to the brim with records. \u201cAh, music,\u201d I answered, biting back my profound incredulity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, how lovely!\u201d beamed the other one, the nice one\u2014 the one I later learned was Jay. \u201cWe\u2019ll take some of that please,\u201d he added. \u201cWe love music!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUm, anything in particular?\u201d I asked, struggling to keep my composure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow about this?\u201d asked Jay, holding up the Black Sabbath album from the rack before them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaster of Reality,\u201d I read the cover. \u201cDoom metal,\u201d I quickly added, not knowing what else to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSounds perfect,\u201d muttered Gord just loud enough for me to hear, although I doubt that was his intent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe first song is Sweet Leaf,\u201d I began to ramble. \u201cIt\u2019s an ode to Mary Jane.\u201d Nothing. No reaction. \u201cUm, marijuana\u2026 cannabis\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAh, cannabis!\u201d For a second there I thought I saw Gord actually smile with the sudden recognition. But then his mood turned on a dime as his natural bitterness seeped through again: \u201cOnly worthwhile thing you freaks ever managed to dream up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who the fuck was he calling a freak! Thirty seconds in and this was easily already the strangest conversation I\u2019d ever had. And it never really got any better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I honestly didn\u2019t know what to make of these two, but somehow I ended up taking a liking to them nevertheless. They were either two of the most na\u00efve middle-aged men in the history of modern civilization, or they were escaped lunatics from the asylum and possibly serial killers. Either way, they were some real freaky people, and I\u2019d always taken a shine to freaky people in general. It turns out that what Gord and Jay were really after was a ride into the desert. They had important business in the desert. Sure\u2026 why not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I drove a cherry red \u201967 Mustang. I wasn\u2019t all that keen on taking it into the dusty old desert, but I could always wash it when I got back. I was always washing that car. God, I loved that car!<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was still early\u2014 late afternoon\u2026 on the longest day of the year. My boss, the owner of the record shop, had relieved me at 4, and after a quick stop at the 7-11 for slurpees, we were on our way to the desert. Gord was strapped tightly into the passenger seat beside me (who wears a seatbelt in 1972?), while Jay was sliding back and forth across the freshly Armor-Alled vinyl bench seat in the back as I took most of the corners a tad too fast\u2014 as teenage boys driving Mustangs tend to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During a straight stretch of road I spied Jay in the rearview mirror holding the newly-purchased \u201cMaster of Reality\u201d album up to his ear as though he actually expected to hear something. I shoved the cassette tape into the deck instead of even attempting to explain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s a mixed tape I made,\u201d I shouted above the music blaring from the speakers. I was always so proud of my mixed tapes. Working in a record shop scored me access to some real obscure gems. Jay instantly seemed to genuinely like it while Gord was quite content with his usual scowl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When Elton John got to the shushy part in \u201cEmpty Sky,\u201d where it got all quiet for a bit, I asked the fellas \u201cSo what are we doing out in the desert anyway?\u201d They looked at each other conspiratorially for a moment. Then Gord just shrugged and answered straight out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019re going to end the world.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI thought it was a realm,\u201d interjected Jay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTo him it\u2019s a world,\u201d scolded Gord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Neat. I didn\u2019t believe them. Of course I didn\u2019t, but I thought it\u2019d be fun to play along. \u201cEnd of the world, you say? We\u2019d best get stoned then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Both of them looked horrified until I explained that getting stoned was the same as getting high on cannabis\u2014 a thing to which they were both surprisingly amenable. I pulled the pre-rolled after-work fatty from my cigarette pack and sparked it up. Ten minutes later and the tunes were sounding heavenly and Gord was actually managing a look of honest contentment\u2026 until I resumed the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo why exactly are we ending the world today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I saw Jay squirm a bit in the back seat, but it was Gord who answered. \u201cBecause you fuckers just can\u2019t seem to get a damn thing right!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I laughed. Heartily. C\u2019mon, it was funny. Hysterical, really. \u201cWhat d\u2019ya mean?\u201d I asked feigning a serious tone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gord bent to pick up a newspaper from among the garbage strewn on the floor at his feet. (Yeah, despite the Turtle Wax and the Armor All, I was still a sixteen-year-old kid, after all.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis!\u201d he exclaimed, holding up the front page, and smacking it with the back of his hand. He then read the headline to me: \u201cValedictorian Urges Peers to Follow Their Dreams.\u201d It was a small-town newspaper, and that was just the sort of thing we might consider news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat?\u201d I was genuinely perplexed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou dip-shits get everything exactly backwards!\u201d Gord raged. \u201cFollow your dreams! Follow your fucking dreams! Why don\u2019t you try leading them instead?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Somehow there seemed to be something profound in that. I can\u2019t say that I exactly got it right at that moment, but the irascible Gord was definitely onto something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t follow your dreams,\u201d I reiterated, \u201clead your dreams instead.\u201d There was indeed a profound logic in that\u2026 or maybe it was just that I was super high on Thai chronic. Whatever, it satisfied something in me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But Gord was something less than satisfied. The weed obviously hadn\u2019t completely tamed his irascible nature. \u201cI really thought you\u2019d have figured it out by now,\u201d he lamented angrily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFigured what out?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBase reality,\u201d he said very matter-of-factly\u2026 to which I had no reply, mostly because I had no clue what he might be getting at. I shot him a quick look of puzzlement and then waited for him to elaborate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere was always just one thing\u2026 one thing to protect and cherish\u2026 the one thing that no matter what else might happen, it would surely save you. If only you could remember this one thing, it would always rescue you, redeem you, and set the world aright again. But you\u2014 every last one of you\u2014 forgot it. And now it\u2019s lost\u2026 and the world is doomed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I really thought Gord was going to tell me what the \u2018one thing\u2019 was. Nope. I had to ask, and even then he couldn\u2019t just come out with it. It seems Gord had found a teaching moment\u2014 the only thing that apparently made him happy\u2026 or, at least, less bitter. He launched into some metaphysical bullshit, like all this end-of-the-world stuff was real and perfectly serious. I kept a straight face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere\u2019s only really two things going on here.\u201d He gestured with a grandiose flourish to indicate that \u201chere\u201d was the entirety of the world. \u201cThis is a binary realm.\u201d Here he paused to look at Jay, confirming some private joke that wasn\u2019t all that funny. Turning back to me, he continued. \u201cExpansion and contraction.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Apparently those were the \u201ctwo things.\u201d I had been expecting something a bit more revealing, insightful, profound. But he was getting to that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s all about mind, you know.\u201d He paused again to let that settle in, but its significance was mostly lost on me. I still didn\u2019t know where this was going. \u201cAnd what do we call the expansion of mind?\u201d he asked, fully expecting an answer. I um\u2019d and ah\u2019d a bit incurring some fresh Gordian wrath. \u201cC\u2019mon! We covered this already!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I shrugged. He sighed. And Jay answered into the awkward silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDreaming,\u201d he said from the back seat. \u201cMind expands through dreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes,\u201d Gord acknowledged. \u201cDreaming is like a yawn and a stretch for consciousness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Okay, I was starting to get it. \u201cSo\u2026 dreaming is the \u2018one thing\u2019 you were talking about earlier\u2014 the one thing to be cherished and protected\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, the CAPACITY to dream, really DREAM. Precisely.\u201d Gord suddenly looked almost pleased. Almost\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut what\u2019s this bit about contraction then?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDreaming can either be wholly private or decidedly social. Dreams can be shared\u2014 experientially.\u201d Again with the pause\u2026 but now I was really starting to get it. I picked up the thread\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo\u2026 this whole reality\u2014 this realm,\u201d I corrected as I met Jay\u2019s gaze in the rearview mirror with a wink, \u201cis a shared dream.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYup,\u201d is all Gord said. I was expecting a bit more fanfare than that. After all, I was really beginning to catch on\u2026 but I was still unclear about the whole contraction thing and I said so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s a freewill universe,\u201d answered Gord. \u201cWe can experience the dream of another only through agreement, by making contracts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh, that\u2019s what you meant by contraction!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cContracts put limits on things\u2026 keeping them from expanding into absurdity or just plain oblivion. You need a lot of agreements to make a complex reality like this one work. You need a lot of contracts.\u201d Gord had really warmed to our conversation now, and I was diggin\u2019 it too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo where are all these contracts filed?\u201d I asked. \u201cWhich law office is keeping track of all our agreements?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s what the sun is for,\u201d answered Gord. \u201cAnd we\u2019re here\u2014 today\u2014 to dissolve the sun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWait\u2026 what?\u201d I didn\u2019t understand how the sun could be the grand repository of agreements among all living things on earth. After all, that\u2019s what Gord was saying\u2026 if I was following. Gord seemed to understand my confusion immediately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI liked it better,\u201d he began to explain, \u201cwhen people thought the sun was made of moondust and phlogiston. Beats the hell out of this helium fusion nonsense.\u201d Well, that didn\u2019t help my understanding any better. Gord continued. \u201cAll that is\u2026 is consciousness. Existence and consciousness are exactly equivalent. You could even say they\u2019re the same thing\u2014 the only thing. Consciousness is\u2014 that\u2019s our starting point.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCogito ergo sum,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Okay. I kinda enjoyed this mystical crap. But the knit of my brow communicated clearly that I was teetering on the brink of being lost again, so Gord started in on another tack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cClose your eyes,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUm, I\u2019m driving.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo stop. We\u2019re here anyway,\u201d he added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We were really in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, and I said so as I stopped the car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s perfect,\u201d said Gord, stepping out to immediately gaze at the blazing sun overhead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I got out too, and flipped the seat forward to let Jay out from the back. We stretched and breathed in the desert heat for a moment and then Gord resumed his tutorial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow close your eyes.\u201d I did. \u201cWhat do you see?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNothing,\u201d I answered automatically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBullshit!\u201d raged Gord. \u201cThat\u2019s a learned response. And it\u2019s patently false. Now tell me what you actually see with your eyes closed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I did as I was told. \u201cI see\u2026 colours\u2026 lights\u2026 random patterns. It\u2019s a jumble. It\u2019s chaos.\u201d Until that very moment I had never realized how much there was to see when I simply closed my eyes. My previous answer of \u201cnothing\u201d seemed rather absurd suddenly. How did I never notice this before!<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI looked high, saw the empty sky!\u201d sang Jay to the desert at large. \u201cIf I could only\u2026 could only fly!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gord deftly ignored him. \u201cLight is the substance of dreaming\u2026 and dreaming is what minds do. They can\u2019t help it. Consciousness is inherently creative. It automatically fills all voids in time and space. Light occupies space, thus creating it. Time is filled by structure or organization. Time depends on patterning. These things together create realms\u2026 or reality as you know it. And I simply call them dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Holy shit! I think I was really getting it. Somehow all of this was actually making sense\u2026 at least, to my thoroughly stoned inquisitive self. Gord seemed to acknowledge my progress and thus continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDreaming is projected outward from the source of consciousness\u2014 your mind. In every moment, it is natural for you to radiate highly structured quanta of light in every direction. You are the source of light\u2026 as is every living creature.\u201d Now we were really getting to the crux of the matter! \u201cThe sun is foremost a receptacle. First, the sun gathers the light from all dreamers within its realm. Then, the sun\u2019s own consciousness processes all of the information individually received from uncountable sources, noting in particular where they are in agreement. And finally, it returns that same light restructured and re-patterned as a collective consciousness which is qualitatively more than the mere sum of its unfathomably varied parts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And here, Gord actually smiled\u2014 a genuine ear-to-ear grin. And rightfully so, I thought. This shit was righteously profound! And then the next realization hit me like a ton of bricks!<\/p>\n\n\n\n If what Gord had just managed to explain to me had any real validity at all, that meant that these two jokers really were here to dissolve the sun and bring an end to the world. Shit!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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